Barebacking (unprotected anal sex) is a controversial subject liable to rouse strong feelings among gay men. Many gay guys find it difficult to understand why people might engage in what they see as a suicidal act, and will always use condoms when dating.
For some gay guys have become fed up with always having to have to use condoms, they may find it hard to maintain an erection and the loss of sensation makes fucking less pleasurable. It is true, condoms do inhibit the spontaneity of sex especially if you want to keep switching roles. We need to be honest about the negative aspects of condom use, each of us has to decide whether the risk of HIV infection is worth the pleasure of unprotected sex. Lots of younger guys have not known people who got seriously sick and died from AIDS. They think that the new medications will work for them if they do get sick and some people even enjoy the danger of the possibility of HIV infection - it’s like playing Russian Roulette. It is important to keep in mind though that HIV medications do not work for everyone and many guys are living with serious HIV related illnesses and others find the side effects from the medications so bad they can barely get out of bed. Most of these medications are quite toxic, and no-one knows how long a specific drug regime will be effective for.
- Two playful gay men in bed
Quite often a couple may decide to abandon condoms when in a serious relationship but this is only safe to do after both have tested negative three months into the relationship and where there is sufficient trust that neither of them will have unprotected sex outside.
Sex is a risky business. There are other more infectious STD’s than HIV to worry about. Hepatitis C being one of the more serious, painful and difficult to treat.
Some men who chose to bareback have made careful, considered decisions to do so and taken several steps to minimise the risk. All of these ‘harm reduction’ strategies still carry some risk, but they may reduce the risk:
• discussing whether their partner knows their status and how recently they last tested (if both have recently tested negative and haven’t had unprotected sex in the previous three months then the risk is pretty minimal - assuming both are honest!)
• if their partner is positive what having sex with someone with low viral load and high CD4 counts is considered lower risk than someone who’s has a high viral load
• adopting ‘strategic positioning’ where if they are negative taking the role of the active partner
• dipping rather than fucking (where they put their cock in just for a few strokes and pull out
• not cumming inside.
One of the things many gay guys don’t realise is that performing oral sex on a guy whose HIV status you don’t know and who cums in your mouth may be a higher risk activity (if he’s recently been infected) than being briefly fucked a poz guy who has an undetectable viral load. However, just because someone has an undetectable viral load in their blood, it doesn’t mean they will be have a low level in their cum. Many guys are quite happy to suck another guy off without worrying about HIV risk and this should be carefully considered.
Some HIV poz guys have made a decision to bareback with other poz guys figuring they’ve already got the virus so what harm can it do. This is still a risky thing to do. You can develop a resistance to HIV meds through taking a load from a guy who has is one a different combination of meds to you. Do this often enough and you may end up being resistant to most of the different HIV meds and reducing your treatment options. You also run the risk of acquiring a different strain of HIV and of getting infected with another STD - (Hep C would probably be the most serious of these) and so barebacking amongst poz guys is also a serious issue.
© Dominic Davies - Pink Therapy™
