It is so easy to get it wrong on gay dating sites
I’ve thought long and hard about the top three mistakes guys make when they’re using gay dating sites. The trouble is there are so many ways guys can go wrong - far more than just three - so choosing the top three mistakes was very difficult.
In the end I thought about your ultimate goal when you’re using gay dating sites: finding what you’re looking for - whether it is great sex, the love of your life or new friends. What three things are most likely to scupper your chances?
This is what I’ve settled on:
1 No genuine, recent photo
Load a genuine photo
I feel like screaming this from the rooftops! I am so sick of repeating this again and again! Load a photo onto your profile! It seems so obvious, yet so many guys don’t bother.
What are they thinking? That hot men will magically fall into their laps when they don’t even know what they look like?
So here it is loud and clear: load a genuine, recent photo of yourself onto your profile.
Common Photo Misconceptions
a) The most common photo misconception is that guys don’t think they are good looking enough to show a photo, and that they will receive more interest without a photo.
Wrong! Nothing is worse than having no photo! Quasimodo should load a photo. And the Elephant Man!
Why? First, because however rough you think you look, I can assure you that there are guys out there who will fancy you (and you’re probably being WAY too hard on yourself!). Secondly, your photo humanises you - it brings you alive - suddenly you’re not an anonymous no-one, but you’re real flesh and blood - and guess what - guys will respect you more and want to interact with you more - which means more messages!
A recent genuine photo is a winner for gay dating sites
b) Another very common photo misconception is to think you improve your chances by using an old photo. Let’s face it, as we age some of us may feel that our looks deteriorate. So the temptation is to load a photo from 5 years ago when we were perhaps a little slimmer, or less wrinkled!
Fine if you never plan to meet anyone else from the site, but if you do hope to meet someone in the flesh you’re onto a big loser. Imagine his disappointment when he sees you. Imagine the awkward position you put him in if he doesn’t fancy you any more. Imagine how crap the sex is going to be - that’s if he lets you get that far!
If you do load a recent, true photo of yourself then you know that whoever does contact you really fancies you for YOU, and how much better is that? Woo!
2 Narrowing your horizons
Broaden your horizons when you're dating online
Another huge mistake guys make is that they are too picky about what they want.
Think very carefully before limiting your options - in every possible sense. It is so easy to fall into patterns of behaviour which may mean we’re missing out on so much.
For instance, are you sure you won’t sleep with anyone over 30? Perhaps you’re missing out on incredible sex just because of fear of the unknown. Or, are you sure you’re only looking for sex, and not friends, or a deeper relationship? Or, vice versa?
The list goes on and on. Only like well endowed guys? Maybe there’s a guy with an average size dick out there who’ll deliver better than anyone else!
My advice is extremely simple. Keep an open mind. Be generous when you’re using the gay dating site’s search facility. Widen your age range, body type, even what you’re looking for. Spread your wings and taste new fruit - who knows where it may lead you.
3 Being Too ‘Passive’
Use interactive features like Mothership Gay Dating's 'You're Hot'
Listen up! This piece of advice could revolutionise your online dating success. Be bold. Get out there and mingle. Say hi to lots of guys, get in the gay chat rooms and chat, flirt, nudge, wink, rate and send you’re hot messages. Don’t just sit there passively waiting to be contacted!
Gay dating is partly a numbers game, and the more guys you contact, the greater your chance of success! Plus, you could make some great new mates along the way.
Sorry to use a straight expression, but
“a faint heart never won fair maiden!”
Easy to say, right? Yes, granted, it is, and it can be very difficult for some guys to do because of fear of rejection.
Rate him! You never know where it may lead...
Fear of rejection is another huge topic in its own right, but for now all I can say is that yes, you may get rejected by some guys. So don’t contact guys indiscriminately who you could not realistically expect to attract - obviously you’ll need to do some targeting so that you’re focusing on guys who are more likely to like you back.
You may be surprised at the number of positive responses you receive! OK, you may get a small number of bitchy or nasty replies (just report them using the site’s abuse facility). However, if you know this in advance then you can be prepared. Don’t give up!
You’ll soon harden up. And I bet it won’t be long until something else is hardening up too 
So to recap, avoid making the top three gay dating site mistakes by:
1 Loading a recent, genuine photo
2 Broadening your horizons in every way
3 Being bold and actively interacting with lots of guys
Good luck!
By David Abrehart
(c) Copyright 2009. All rights reserved.
