The Food of Gay Love

Gay Lovers Chow Down!

Which foods do gay lovers enjoy best in the bedroom?

A lot has been written about food and gay sex, and how the right foods can spice things up in the bedroom, playroom, or indeed on the kitchen table. But is this a load of hype – do you eat runny honey off your honey? Does spray cream make gay lovers cream?

Here at the Mothership Blog we’ve taken a look at the foods supposed to enhance gay love, and see if they really are the icing on the bedroom cake.

Oysters

Said to contain zinc – a mineral which aids testosterone production, and amino acids which trigger higher levels of sex hormones. However, they also have been said to have got their aphrodisiac reputation because of their resemblance to female genitalia – not exactly a selling point for gay lovers!

Mothership Verdict – possible aphrodisiac, providing you don’t throw up

Pineapple rings

The idea is that you put the pineapple ring around your partner’s penis, then eat it off (or vice versa). The reality is that the hole in the pineapple ring is too small to accommodate all but the smallest penises, and the sticky juices run down into the hairy scrotum.

Mothership Verdict – better with gammon

Spray cream

Spray on your partner and lick it off. Convenient, and versatile. Something very horny about revealing body parts as you lick the cream away. Eat quickly though, or your boyfriend’s body temperature will make the cream go off.

Mothership Verdict – thumbs up, but watch out for the calories

Root vegetables

To be inserted into your lover’s anus at leisure. Most root vegetables will do including carrots, parsnips, and even members of the onion family like leeks. Don’t insert too far. Clean them first (and after!). Pass on the ‘winter vegetable soup’ at dinner.

Mothership Verdict – a cautious yes.

Bananas

The idea is that they are peeled, then inserted into a (presumably well-douched) bottom, then passed out, and eaten if desired. In reality they are not robust enough to stand up to the strength of the sphincter muscles, and you get baby food.

Mothership Verdict – a bum deal

Nutella/Chocolate sauce

Not only is chocolate rumoured to be an aphrodisiac, but here you get to play with it too. Like spray cream you can lick it off parts of your partner’s body. A word of caution – can resemble faeces in appearance, so consider giving your gay lover’s arse a wide berth.

Mothership Verdict – a cautious yes

Edible Pants

Your boyfriend puts them on. You eat them off. You both get off. Make sure you like cheap candy, and don’t have any allergies that will be triggered by the thousands of E numbers you’ll be consuming. Nonetheless – a horny concept.

Mothership Verdict – yes, but don’t expect Dolche and Gabbana

Don’t pig out on your first ‘date’

Overall it’s a Mothership yes to food and gay sex, so raid your kitchen cupboards and pig out! However presenting your partner with a turnip and tin of pineapple rings may be a little too much for a first date.

(c) copyright 2009. All rights reserved.

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What are your experiences of food and gay sex?  Let us know below: