Speedos Banned, Bikinis Allowed - are Alton Towers Sexist?
Shock! Horror! Alton Towers has banned speedos in all its public areas and pools. Hot dads and fit lads can no longer wear regular swimwear - instead they have to wear those great big baggy things that do NOTHING for a man! Incredibly, the theme park has felt it necessary to stop guys wearing skin-tight swimwear in order to preserve a ‘decent family environment’!
This is despite family-friendly public pools and beaches throughout the UK having no such ban in place! We asked Alton Towers if any specific incident had caused them to implement such a drastic policy. Had guys been walking around with 9 inch boners all weekend? Had a thousand male swimming trunks been disappearing up buttcracks on their douche-like waterslides?
But no, nothing. Instead Alton Towers reasoning was simply
“…the (speedo) style is not deemed public or family friendly, and therefore we are requesting that male swimmers wear more appropriate styles such as boardshorts.”
Alton Towers spokesman Tom told the Mothership Blog that it was the skin-tight nature of the speedo-style swimwear that was inappropriate for a family resort. Oh please! Read the rest of this entry