As a gay man present at Merton Abbey’s second annual Dark Mills celebration of all things Gothic and Alternative last weekend, I was very aware that among the various subcultures which compose the Goth lifestyle, none is identifiably queer. When it comes to politics, religion or sexuality, Goths seem to exercise not so much tolerance, as neutrality, as if the devil and all his works were Swiss.
Patricia Quinn, the festival’s leading patron ( think pretty Bride of Frankenstein), spoke in the programme of a thriving but misunderstood artistic scene, whose contributions range from “Tim Burton to Vivian Westwood to Siouxie Sioux”. She then advocated giving oneself up to sexual abandon, while the main arena proclaimed a “Festival of Sins”. The bands and the music provided a focal point, around which fashion designers, gothic artists, and movie set innovators swirled in a sea of black robes and purple basques. The costumes alone should make this a magnet to gay taste, so how does it remain so irredeemably straight?
Gay interest was surely aroused by the preview of Shame (the single and video), combining the talents of Gary Barlow and Robbie Williams for the first time since the latter went defiantly solo 15 years ago. Since then to his recent marriage, Robbie has pursued an unevenly successful career, teasing us with ambiguous messages as to his queer credentials.
Now we have a song of reconciliation and a video with clear visual references to Brokeback Mountain and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Barlow and Williams dance holding token females in a bar whilst gazing longingly into each others’ eyes. They both strip to the waist (showing some evident gym work), race joyfully to the top of a mountain ridge with a lake far below it, and then turn their faces back to the sun just as you think they will join hands and jump.
The end of this romantic sequence is perhaps symbolic of what Barlow has admitted may be only an eighteen month joint venture with the band, with Robbie likely to resume his lone career after that. What deserves deeper examination is the gay factor in all this, and how it helps us to decode the hidden meaning of the song’s chorus, “What a shame we never listened…” Read the rest of this entry »
Whether gay or straight, tattoos have become increasingly popular, and some guys carry them really well. As ancient tribal markings, rites of passage, signs of gang affiliation, pure artistry, fashion accessories or deep meaningful statements, many gay men find tattoos a homoerotic delight. Anyone getting one for the first time prompts a mini-celebration in the tattoo parlour as they become one of the inked fraternity. For gay men it means joining a brotherhood within the exclusive brotherhood we already are.
One of the most famous books ever written, Moby Dick by Herman Melville (1851), has the unforgettable scene where the narrator Ishmael has to share a room and a bed for the night with Queequeg, a South Sea Island harpooner, who is covered in elaborate native tattoos all over his face and body:
“Upon waking next morning about daylight, I found Queequeg’s arm thrown over me in the most loving and affectionate manner. You had almost thought I had been his wife…..though I tried to move his arm - unhook his bridegroom clasp - he still hugged me tightly, as though nought but death should part us twain.”
Melville (whose last work was about the handsome young sailor Billy Budd), makes much of the profusion of strange tattoos covering the islander’s arm, which he can hardly distinguish from the busy pattern of the conterpane. Many a gay reader must have felt the erotic charge of Ishmael’s account. Read the rest of this entry »
Gay retirement - Mothership Gay Dating member ‘outerlimits’ reflects on his own experiences:
Gay retirement - a bridge to fulfillment
Is retirement for gay people a different experience, just as their earlier working life has been, as a consequence of our sexuality? Most definitely. I took early retirement in January, and have become aware that as a gay man I’m especially privileged as I try to get the most from this neglected phase of life; but why?
What I wish to explore here is how the gay retirement experience qualitatively differs from that of heterosexuals. We all need enough money to sustain us in our pursuit of happiness, and many problems we may face will be similar, so what’s different? As the coalition govenment has now made working longer and longer a possibility, even dressing it up as something desirable, we may well question the sanity of working till we drop. A gay perspective enables us to do this more readily, because we’ve learnt to be more rebellious, questioning, and imaginative, just to survive. Read the rest of this entry »
Gay Pride, Mardi Gras, whatever name we give this major annual event in the gay calendar, is an affirmation of our lives, our rights, achievements, hopes, and possibilities.
These events are meant to be inclusive (our aim to play a full part in mainstream society), and exclusive in the sense of demonstrating our particular gifts, qualities, and means of self-empowerment. What, then, are we to make of gay critics who see Pride merely as a big, brash, vulgar display detrimental to our best interests, a social irrelevance, an excuse to party and little more? Read the rest of this entry »
