Overcome First Date Nerves

by David Abrehart

You’re sat next to a gym-toned hunk with a chiselled jaw and narrow waist. He looks you over lazily and his hand brushes against his thigh. This guy is a god! But instead of feeling sexual attraction your mouth is dry, your heart is thumping and your breathing is fast. Argh! First date nerves!

Here are some simple tips which may help:

Perspective. First date nervousness stems from an inner fear of rejection. Try and put this into perspective - even if you were rejected (which is unlikely if you’ve got as far as meeting him), is it the end of the world? NO! There are plenty more gay guys out there and tomorrow is another day! So loosen up, and don’t worry about it.

Smile. Force yourself to smile, even if you’re nervous and don’t feel like it. Not only will the smile be interpreted positively by him, but forcing your facial muscles to create a smile helps to change the patterns in your brain and puts you in a better mood. Sounds weird, but it really works.

Stand tall or sit up. Pulling yourself up to your full height helps you to feel stronger and more dominant, reinforcing your sense of pride and worth.

Make eye contact. Look him in the eye when you’re chatting to him. This shows that you are attentive and receptive to him, and gives off confidence.

Watch your body language. Don’t cross your arms, or cross your legs away from him. Keep your body relaxed and open. If you display a closed body language he is going to pick up the wrong signals subconsciously.

Look your best. Pay attention to the basics like having a fresh mouth, being freshly showered and attractively dressed. If you look hot, you’re going to feel more confident straight away.

Compliment him. Say something nice about his appearance. This will go down well! Moderation however - showering him with praise may be a little offputting.

Ask him about himself. Stuck for conversation? Most guys like to talk about their favourite subject - them! Seriously, we know ourselves and our lives better than anything else, so if you’re wondering what to talk about then ask questions about his life - you’ll soon find the conversation flowing.

Laugh. Most important of all. Try and find something even slightly funny and keep it light. If you can share some humour with him you’re going to find your nerves melt away in no time, and before you know it your heart rate will be rising and your breathing will be faster for entirely different reasons…

(c) copyright 2009. All rights reserved.

Get nervous when meeting a guy for the first time? Let us know below.