Three Tests to Catch Your Lying Boyfriend
No one likes being lied to, but it happens to all of us in our lives. However, it can be especially hurtful in our gay relationships.
The trouble is, sometimes it is so hard to tell if he is lying to you. We’ve put together three tests which you can use to help find out if you have a lying boyfriend.
Lie Detectors are Never 100% Accurate!
Before we give you the tests, note that no lie detector test is 100% accurate. However, these tests will give you a strong indication if your partner is lying. Here are the three tests:
Test 1 - Change the Subject
Chat to your boyfriend about the subject you think he is lying about. Watch his response which may be a little tense. Then, change the subject SUDDENLY - a liar will quickly become more relaxed and straight away go with the new conversation topic. If he was telling you the truth he’ll be confused why you changed the subject, and may even return to it.
Why it works - as a rule, liars don’t like lying. It puts them under pressure, and constructing excuses, and back up stories, is a pain. Lying is hard work, and stressful. You can exploit this - and watch him visibly relax when you allow him to stop lying.
Test 2 - Watch his eyes
This test is a little trickier, and you’ll need to keep it natural.
First of all ask him a couple of harmless Yes/No control questions - this doesn’t have to be at the same time, perhaps over a day or so. Just casually slip them into the conversation, for instance, “Did you walk to work today?” or “Did you watch Hollyoaks last night?”
He has no reason to lie to these questions, so when he is thinking about his answer carefully watch his eyes and where he moves them (probably it will be up to his left)
Then, ask him your killer question - again it must be ‘yes/no’.
“Did you sleep with Jonny last night?”
Now watch where his eyes go when he thinks about the answer. If they look to a different place than when he was answering your question he could be lying (often this will be when he’s be looking up to the right).
Why it works - we recall the truth from a different part of our brains than when we use our imagination to lie. For some reason this means we often look toward one direction when we’re telling the truth and another when we’re lying. In most of us we look to the upper left when recalling the truth, and to the upper right when constructing lies - but some people are wired differently which is why you need the control questions first!
If he replies to you in your own words “No, I did not sleep with Jonny last night” then it is even more likely he is lying!
Test 3 - Watch Him Squirm
The last test you can perform is to ‘trespass on enemy territory’ and watch him squirm! You can have a bit of fun with this one.
Instead of confronting him directly, instead innocently move in on the lie’s territory.
“Oh by the way, I’m going to go and return that book to Jonny this morning”
Or, “I thought we could invite Jonny’s best friend round for a bbq later”
If your boyfriend did sleep with Jonny last night, neither of these options will be appealing - he’ll be worried you’ll find out! Watch him squirm and think up reasons why you shouldn’t return the book, or have his best mate round for a bbq in case he spills the beans!
Why it works - if you’ve played this right, he won’t know you suspect him, and you can notice as he deviously tries to discourage you from your plans. “No don’t return that book, I haven’t read it yet.”
Lying Boyfriend? Ask Him!
This is a risky strategy, but you could always ask your boyfriend outright if he is lying to you. Sometimes, he’ll admit it. He may realise that the telling you the truth is better than carrying on the deception.
The danger is that your mistrust will be revealed, and if he was telling you the truth it may damage your relationship. It’s your call.
If you’re reading this article, there is a chance you’re going through a rocky time in your gay relationship. It may not seem like it now, but good can come out of the bad things that happen in our lives. If you do find out your boyfriend has been lying to you, at least you know him better and can decide the way forward. Good luck.
by David Abrehart
(c) Copyright 2009. All rights reserved.