Unlike many of our competitors Mothership Gay Dating offers 100% free messaging to all members - you can send as many messages as you like without paying to upgrade your membership.
One of the downsides of this is that it makes Mothership attractive to spammers - because they are not limited to sending 10 messages a day, they can copy and paste hundreds of manipulative, insincere messages designed to hook the unwary into a relationship that will eventually result in fraud.
Unfortunately we are having a bit of a deluge from spammers recently, as you may have noticed in your inbox. We do have systems in place to stop spammers, but all protective systems have their blind spots.
However you can help. If you spot a message that looks suspicious, simply hit the ‘REPORT SUSPECTED SPAM’ link in your message window. This lets us know about it. Best of all, if enough people hit the button, it blocks any further spam messages from being sent by that person - without them realising! So our suspected spammer could be wasting hours sending hundreds of messages that will never be delivered. Sweet revenge!
How spammers on gay dating sites work
There are a number of systems spammers use to target gay dating sites (and straight dating sites too) but they normally rely upon building a relationship with you before they can defraud you. This means sending you a flattering message telling you about themselves and asking to get to know you better, but importantly, NOT on Mothership Gay Dating. Instead they will give you an email address or instant messaging address where they can deepen their relationship with you on their turf.
Once they’ve got chatting to you off the site they can use their considerable skill to manipulate your deepening feelings for them. Once you’re hooked they move in for the sting asking for a loan for an emergency (like a family bereavement), or a loan for a plane ticket to come and see you, or one of many many other ways they can abuse your trust and get money out of you.
Another tactic is to play on your desire for easy money. They’ll be upfront with you and say you’ve won a lottery, or you are a beneficiary in a will, or you can help release funds for them in exchange for a cut of those funds etc. Again, they want you off Mothership and communicating with them on their turf, so they’ll always include an email address where you are to contact them to find out more.
Of couse, once you’re chatting to them you’ll find the sting - they’ll be a fee upfront you’ll have to pay for a plausible sounding reason, and then once you’ve paid it you’ll never hear anything from them again.
Yet another method is to invite you to see them on cam - however once there you’ll realise you have to pay for that - it is a way of drumming up business for guys who like to perform sex shows on webcam.
Spammers naturally target the lonely and vulnerable in our gay community. What they do is the lowest of the low, not only resulting in financial loss but heartache, despair and hurt feelings too. They behave in a particularly cruel and callous way. So please help us stop them on Mothership.
How can you spot a spam message?
- Often spammers use the phrase ‘dear’, as in ‘my dear’
- They will flatter you
- They are often much younger than you
- Their photo may look fake (like a model shot), or too good to be true
- They always will include an email address ask you to reply to them there
- They may say you have won the lottery, or are a beneficiary in a will or can otherwise attain money easily
- Their message is usually long (10 lines plus), and inappropriately detailed for a first message
So remember, if you receive a message that seems suspicious, please hit the ‘REPORT SUSPECTED SPAM’ button.
Let’s keep Mothership a safe and friendly place for guys to communicate with each other, and help us preserve our 100% free messaging system. REPORT SUSPECTED SPAM!
By David Abrehart
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