Gay Teenage Suicides - Homophobia Killing Our Gay Youth
(Part 1)
Close to a gay utopia? Then why are our gay teenagers killing themselves?
This is 2009. It’s cool to be gay. We’re surrounded by positive gay role models - John Barrowman, Stephen Fry, Ricky Martin; gay TV such as Queer as Folk and Will & Grace; we have civil partnerships and a new Equality Bill on the way. We go to a party and no one gives a f**k that we’re gay. This is it - the gay utopia. We must have arrived, right?
Wrong. Our gay teenagers are killing themselves. Gay teenagers are four times [1] more likely to commit suicide than their straight peers.
Why? Because in 2009 homophobia is still killing our teenagers. The Harry Potter actor Daniel Radcliffe has recognised this and made a major donation to a US gay suicide helpline called the Trevor Project.
Gay teenagers see the world from an entirely different perspective than most of us:
Kids Can Be Cruel
Gay teenagers can see no way out
As adults we tend to live in a fairly civilised society where most people behave moderately, and in a reasonable way. However, teenagers can be far more aggressive and far more vulnerable to peer pressure. This can lead to an environment that is very hostile to gay teenagers, with victimisation, the pack instinct and bullying commonplace.
This aggressive peer pressure can stop gay teens from coming out, or make their life a misery if they do come out. They’re damned if they do, and damned if they don’t - or at least, that’s how they may see it.
Parents Can Be Cruel
Rejection or fear of rejection by the family causes gay teenage suicides
One of the major reasons gay teens take their own lives is due to the attitude of their family members [2]. In fact, gay teenagers who are rejected by their family are, wait for it…nine times [3] more likely to commit suicide - that’s more than double their four times risk all over again.
Being rejected by the family unit that they have been so closely involved with all their life is devastating. Remember, they’re just teenagers, and for them their family life takes on a far greater significance than adults who’ve left home long ago.
Low Self Esteem
Society's homophobia can lead to low self esteem in gay teenagers
If a teenager is surrounded by negative attitudes toward homosexuality they can suffer from low self esteem. Low self esteem at such a crucial stage of their development can be crippling, and if they don’t commit suicide it can cause lasting damage throughout their lives.
Gay Teenagers and Homelessness, Prostitution and Substance Abuse
These three seemingly disparate factors often come together. Rejection by the family can lead to homelessness, which can lead to prostitution and substance abuse. All three factors can cause low self esteem and are a factor in gay teenage suicides.
Relationship Problems in Gay Teenagers
Shaun Dykes
Gay teenagers can also be vulnerable to relationship problems. Teenage hormones and inexperience can mean they feel romantic attraction, and pain, incredibly intensely. Shaun Dykes, who famously took his own life last year by jumping from a multi-story car park after being taunted by onlookers, suffered from a relationship problem.
The Teenage Catalyst
As if all these factors aren’t enough, we must remember they are teenagers. This means raging hormones creating massive mood swings and irrational and impulsive behaviour - perfect for a suicide attempt. Not only that, but they lack the life experience to show them how to cope with situations, and to understand there may be other ways to find happiness.
Instead they can feel trapped. Rejected by family, rejected by friends, hating themselves for being gay and with no way out. Except one.
Here’s what gay teenager Bobby Griffith wrote before falling to his death into the path of a speeding truck:
“I can’t let anyone find out that I’m not straight. It would be so humiliating. My friends would hate me, I just know it. They might even want to beat me up. Any my family, I’ve overheard them lots of times talking about gay people. They’ve said they hate gays, and even God hates gays, too. It really scares me now, when I hear my family talk that way, because now, they are talking about me …. Sometimes I feel like disappearing from the face of the this earth.”
Next in the Mothership Blog I’ll take a look at what we can do practically to try to reduce gay teenage suicides - see part 2 Preventing Gay Teenage Suicides.
By David Abrehart
(c) Copyright 2009. All rights reserved.
Sources:
[1] Massachusetts 2006 Youth Risk Survey
[2] Always My Child: A Parent’s Guide to Understanding Your Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning Son or Daughter, Kevin Jennings
[3] 2007 San Francisco State University Chavez Center Institute study
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What do you think about gay teenage suicides - please comment below:
August 29th, 2009 at 6:45 am
Agreed Kayla - very good point. Looks like there is still a lot of work to do
August 29th, 2009 at 2:25 am
Well, teenage suicides are going up these days. It’s not COOL! People say that their ok with the gays and our community. But then they just bring down the GLBT community. Children, who are scared to let their parents know they like the same-sex, think suicide is their only way out. We need to spread the word. Help people know that its not the way out. Its NOT a WAY at ALL! We need to get more places where people not only teenagers, can go and hang out and talk about them liking the same-sex and not have to worry about being judged.