Gay spanking is very erotic
It’s time we looked at gay spanking as a popular safe-sex activity, a sexual therapy, and as a particular turn-on. For some, spanking and corporal punishment in general is seen as an unfortunate fetish linked to childhood or schooldays, and while such associations may well play their part, on the whole the gay experience may transform these into a positive force for good.
When viewed as a sexual component of straight as well as gay behaviour, the attraction of spanking requires deeper evaluation. Desmond Morris, famous for books like The Naked Ape and tv series about manwatching and body language, studied zoology before trying to relate animal behaviour to human character traits in the newer field of ethology. Morris links the enjoyment of spanking to its rhythmic similarity to human intercouse, to a like pounding of the flesh.
While the human rear, posterior, buttocks, bum, ass, butt or whatever we want to call it, is an erogenous zone and object of desire the world over, gay men have perhaps done the most ( as with nipples, or tits ) to realise its full potential. As the classic manual, The Joy of Gay Sex (Silverstein and White 1977 ) explains,
“Buns are versatile, ambiguous and beautiful - cushiony when relaxed, firm when flexed, at once soft and hard, smooth and strong, plush and steel….the rear view is beguiling”
When a guy lies face down, or bends over, with his bare ass in the air, on command, he assumes the posture of total submission.
The ass is a very sexy part of a man’s body… or not!
Writers often refer to masochism in a singular sense, but it always involves two people, a taker and a giver, as in S&M (sadomasochism), a specialised sexual activity aimed at mutual pleasure. Spanking, often OTK ( over the knee ) can range from light and playful to heavy. There are any number of offshoots of this basic activity, though they often end up under the heading of leathersex. John Preston who wrote the gay fantasy Mr. Benson master and slave books, once said he didn’t consider it a proper spanking unless the guy taking it from him cried.
We’re dealing here with a broad spectrum of associated practices which require rules and imagination. In responsible S&M circles, the players agree upon a codeword or sign which the reciever of punishment can use to indicate if things are going too far for him. The safety of participants is paramount as scenarios get heavier. Bondage, say being tied up before being spanked, requires complete trust on the part of the recipient, when a stranger can spell danger.
Even basic gay spanking involves imaginative collaboration, perhaps acting out long held sexual fantasies. There can be no doubting the therapeutic gains from such actions where goodwill, mutual enjoyment, or love are involved. The relief of frustrations can be social ones as well, where the quiet, put-upon worker becomes the dominant partner, or the powerful businessnan adopts the sub or passive role. For others, a spiritual dimension can be the goal.
American Hindu author William Schindler, in his book Gay Tanta (published 2000), explores the potential of role play in which the passive personality more naturally submits to the Higher Power, and the dominant one more readily identifies with God in an effort to harness sexual energy as a transformative spititual power. The road to enlightenment may begin with the first spanking, so to speak.
As a turn-on, even the threat of corporal punishment in a gay context can stimulate the senses to heighten our quota of wellbeing and happiness. A tap on the bum, or the strategic placing of a leather belt in view, may act like a homeopathy of arousal. Verbal teasing, or threats of possible consequences of bad behaviour, or the imaginative use of forfeits in a ritual of foreplay, can be powerful in themselves.
Above all, spanking which has long been associated with the correction of children ( or taken to the level of discipline involved in naval and penal flogging ), when participated in for pleasure and sexual fulfillment, is truly subversive. It turns its longstanding social function on its head, giving a two finger salute (palm outwards) to authority and conformity, and, like gay sex in general, ultimately empowers us.
By John Hartley
John is setting up a spanking group in London - if you’re interested in learning more see the Mothership Gay Forums post about it here
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