In case you thought I was referring to a coveted Pink Award, the title is just a pun on the year’s end! Hope the rest won’t disappoint, however, as I want to firm up a few highlights of 2010.
Let me start with the recent news that the US Senate has finally given approval for openly gay men and women to serve in the military ( something the UK allowed ten years ago) - another small but significant step for gay rights, even if it’s for the wrong reasons. One elderly Senator spoke of a gay soldier he knew, saying: “He’s big, and he’s mean, and he kills lots of bad guys”, as if that was the test of all gay people had to offer.
Nearer home, as a former student of the London School of Economics, I’m reminded of this year being the 40th anniversary of the first gathering of the Gay Liberation Front there on 13 October, 1970. It was also the year we wore badges declaring, Gay Is Good, an echo of black being beautiful, which was bright, bold, and concise. There have been many reasons this year why I think that slogan holds good.
My blogs on gay dating have come back to the theme of the need for patience, sincerity and imagination; the need for openness, as part of a direct, unhesitant approach, and an ability to recognise and seize the (Banksy) moment. Doing just that, I opened a conversation with a couple of guys in a bar in Blackpool, and instantly gained two wonderful new friends. The magic of gay life is there for the making.
Having retired early in January due to rheumatoid arthritis in my legs, I’ve been struck by the kindness I’ve received from people of all ages who have helped me carrying bags up and down stairs on the underground, and elsewhere. The young, handsome blokes amonst them particularly cheered me, naturally.
Contrast this with the white girl and black guy of school-leaving age who beat a 62 year old gay man( who had been out celebrating getting a new job ), to death in Trafalgar Square for the crime of holding his boyfriend’s hand in public that night. The incident happened two years ago, but the conclusion of the murder trial was recently reported. Often violence and intolerance affect the youngest members of society, and that’s another reason why, if we are to conquer homophobia, we must not let them remain ignorant of our gay history, and what we represent for a better world.
I’ve also been concerned that our youngest Mothership members may feel great dissatisfaction if their sex lives fail to live up to porn movie status., and so give up on the attempt to find good gay sex with real-life guys who are solid, trustworthy and caring. The forums, one to one chats, and messaging services are a valuable resource for bringing us together, so let’s use them more than ever in 2011.
While not missing work for a minute, I feel I’ve been busier and more creative than before. To have ample time to do things, and to do them properly is exhilarating. I hope my blogs will always find someone to help or inspire, and I like to think of them as a gay ‘Thought for the Day’, though formal feedback can be poor. Negative responses can be stimulating, however, as when the column on Shirley Bassey’s new album raised the hackles of her most devoted fans. Loud protests are welcome too.
So where are we all heading in our gay today lives? I think we all need the power of sexual healing, the buzz we feel at the prospect of having sex, getting a new boyfriend, or feeling joy being with an established lover. It certainly makes my world go round, and more than compensates for life’s worst experiences. But I also see our gay human army raising the consciousness of the whole world.
I’ve mentioned the rainbow, and the rainbow, or freedom flag, a few times this year. Whenever I see one flying, or hanging, I’m reminded of the bond of hope that binds us all in its silent embrace.
Gay Is Good because it enables us to take any situation and make it better. It’s a rallying call when banks, politicians, and the weather fails us. It’s the bow of brightness after a deluge of sorrow, and the sure marker of a love that lives to love again. Happy New Year Mothership to all members!
By John Hartley.
(c) Copyright 2010. All Rights Reserved,
