Gay Dating Taboos - Topics to Avoid
To impress that fit lad, avoid the taboos!
You’ve taken our advice about where to meet on your gay first date and you’re sat in a coffee shop opposite a very fit lad. He smiles at you and seems to like you too. You’ve got about 30 minutes to get to know each other a bit better - so what do you talk about?
Or, more to the point, what DON’T you talk about?
Here are your gay dating conversation taboos:
Politics
No. No, no, no, no, no!
The purpose of a first date (and second date) is to get to what you have in common, not what you disagree about! Guys can get VERY hot under the collar about their politics so leave the subject well alone.
Of course any gay couple will have things they disagree about, but they live with these disagreements because they know each other well enough to know how to handle them - for instance with humour, tact or avoidance. But on a first date you don’t know each other - things are delicate - and a minor political disagreement can ruin the mood completely. Leave alone!
Religion
Read as per politics above. Then multiply by 10.
Hygiene, personal medical conditions and bodily functions
Don't share your embarrassing medical conditions! (Don't worry, this Mothership member doesn't have any)
He doesn’t want to hear about the scab you picked last night, or how bad your athlete’s foot has got. He’s unlikely to feel romantically inclined towards you if you tell him about your undescended testicle or the birthmark on your bum.
And your poo is never, ever, ever, ever an acceptable romantic dating conversation topic!
Porn
Even if you came three times to the twink double penetration in “Bareback Mountain” last night, don’t share it with him!
He may love porn too, but it doesn’t encourage a romantic mood. Keep your porn entertainment ventures where they belong - in the DVD collection under the bed!
Rent Boys
Don't talk about rent boy/client history
If you’re a rent boy, or an ex rent boy, or if you’ve been a client in the past, don’t bring it up on your first date. Or probably second date. This shouldn’t be a taboo, but it is, and there may never be a good time to share this.
Parents/family
Can you hear that air raid siren getting louder and louder? No? Well he can - and it is warning him that you are too keen!
A first date is too early even to talk about your parents, except to mention your family in passing. Ten minutes on your fabulous gay-friendly mother will not impress.
He wants to know about you, not her, and not feel pressured that you’re getting too keen either.
Old boyfriends
Don't chat about your ex boyfriends
You may as well open your rucksack, take out the huge can inside, open it and let the worms wriggle all over his face.
Talking about your old boyfriends is opening a huge can of worms. There simply isn’t a good point that can be salvaged from this.
He may feel jealous. He may feel bored. You may come across as embittered. You may come across as though you don’t take relationships seriously. Or worse, that you’re not properly over your ex boyfriend. I can go on and on, but what possible thing can come out of discussing your ex boyfriends that is going to make him feel more attracted to you?
Sick Jokes
Sick jokes can be funny, but you’re taking a risk. The trouble is, even if he finds the joke funny too, you will have revealed that you’re prepared to risk the date going wrong by telling a sick joke.
He may feel that you therefore don’t respect him by being reckless in your attitude by taking such a risk, so even if it pays off, it still doesn’t reflect well on your attitude. Save them for when you know each other better.
So what can we chat about?
That’s one for another post. But in general keep your conversation light, ask about each other, share some gentle humour and slowly get to know each other. Easy does it!
A touching scene from Beautiful Thing - these teenagers avoid taboos and gently get to know each other
What About if We’ve Already Slept Together?
If you've slept with him you'll already know about the cute birthmark on his bum
A lot of gay guys will sleep together casually first, and then meet for a date after. It is great when casual sex can lead to a romantic date, and assuming you haven’t chatted much already then the taboo subjects above are still relevant - except by now he may already know about the birthmark on your bum 
By David Abrehart
(c) Copyright 2009. All rights reserved.
Thanks to the cute guys from Mothership Gay Dating who gave permission for their photos to be used
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Get over your ex boyfriend before gay dating again
Overcome first date nerves
What do you think? Comment on your own experiences of gay dating conversation taboos:
