I’ve struggled with my weight for nearly all of my adult life. I think being overweight is a particularly difficult issue for gay men, and for myself, at 43, I am at last trying to do something about this permanently, instead of yoyo-ing. So far, I’ve lost over a stone - but will it stay off? I’ll blog more about this in another post.
Even if you’re not overweight yourself, there are times many of us can feel we could hide a few pounds! Of course, you can’t really lose 10 pounds by tonight, but if you’re off on a hot date later, you can appear 10 pounds lighter by choosing your clothes carefully, some careful grooming and taking some diet and exercise precautions.
Clothes guidelines:
A dark V neck top is very slimming
1) Wear a V neck top, NOT a round neck.
This simple trick makes a BIG difference. The round neck accentuates a round face, wheras the V neck draws the eye down vertically creating an illusion that you’re slimmer.
Your top will need to be a plain unbuttoned top - either T shirt or long sleeve. Traditional collared, button shirts don’t work, and can puff out making you look fatter.
2) Wear one colour, and make that colour plain, and dark.
So keep your trousers/jeans and top co-ordinated in one colour only - a dark grey, dark blue or brown is ideal. Black can be OK, and is well-known for being slimming, but watch out for the pasty white bloated face floating on top! Personally I’d steer clear of black, and go for something subtler and kinder.
3) Create a long silhouette with a jacket.
Get this one right, and the weight will fall off you. A plain dark jacket accentuates your shoulders, has a dramatic long V created by the lapels which emphasises your height, and hides any wobbly bits around the middle. The downside is that it is only good for smart casual events.
4) Don’t hide your ASSets!
You know there are some areas where a bit of extra weight can be very horny. A decent package for instance is a big gay plus! Broad shoulders and meaty thighs can be very sexy, and let’s not forget big bums, if they’re nicely shaped, can be very erotic too. So don’t think you have to disguise your body completely - some big bits of you are worth showing off.
Grooming guidelines:
Origins No Puffery Eye Mask or Gel
1) Get a haircut
If you are overweight, then long, unkempt hair and bushy sideburns is not a good look.
2) Trim your goatee
OK, this is a bit of a cliche, but quite often bears have goatees. Why? Because they work! If you have a little bit of a double chin then a goatee deflects attention away from it - plus they can be trimmed in such a way to give jawline definition again.
So cliche yes, but it does work so if you like goatees go with them.
A tan makes you appear slimmer
3) Eyebag depuff
There are a lot of products on the market which shrink your eyebags. Some work better than others, but back in the days when I gave a damn, Origins ‘No Puffery’ cooling gel was the best of the many products I tested! Tip: works on puffy skin above the eyes too, and I used it as a gel, not a mask.
4) Tan
If you’re tanned, you look slimmer and better. Use a self tanning cream/spray and try and avoid the sunbed. You can see some Which? recommended products here.
Exercise and Diet Guidelines:
No amount of exercise and diet will make a noticeable difference in your weight by tonight!
So why have I included it? Because it WILL make a difference to how you feel, and you’ll look healthier too.
Do some exercise before you go out
1) Go for a run, or bike-ride, or swim, or long walk, or anything to get your heart rate up and your blood circulating. Sweat for 30 minutes! Then come back and shower and get ready.
Why? Because the exercise will improve your complexion, release feel-good endorphins, and most importantly you’ll FEEL slimmer, and much more confident. You’ll probably stand up taller too - which is also slimming!
2) Drink plenty of water. Together with the exercise this helps flush out toxins and helps your skin look good.
3) Avoid Alcohol for a few days before (if you can) or at least for 24 hours before.
Alcohol = puffy. Puffy = fat. Avoid the puffy face! Avoid alcohol.
4) Avoid bread and pastries all day, and preferably a day before.
Puffy, puffy, puffy!
Summary
If these 12 rules are too much like hard work, then at the very least:
a) Follow the 4 clothing guidelines
b) Eyebag depuff
c) Do some exercise earlier in the day
Never forget, no matter what you weigh, what an incredible person you are. Now go out, have fun and get laid you gorgeous beast!
Bonus…a decent 30 minute shag burns 175 calories too 
By David Abrehart
(c) Copyright 2009. All rights reserved.
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Where to meet on your gay first date
Gay body language
Do you have any tips to make yourself look slimmer? Do you think gay guys are the biggest fattists of them all? Let us know what you think:
