Don’t Demonise Gay Bareback Sex

Unbiased Reporting of the Risks, Consequences and Rewards of Gay Bareback Sex Needed

The decision to use condoms or have bareback sex is a personal one and should be respected

When was the last time you read an article in the mainstream gay press extolling gay bareback sex? When were you told about how great it is to feel your cock inside another guy’s arse with nothing in between? Or how a cock cumming inside you with no barrier is much more satisfying?

I expect the answer is never.

AIDS knocked us for six in the ’80s and devastated many lives, and understandably since then we’ve been screaming CONDOM from the rooftops at every opportunity.

But in our quest to prevent AIDS related deaths and illness at all costs, we could be losing perspective about the personal choice that gay men have a right to make regarding bareback sex.

The safe-sex arguments are well known, but are the effects of HIV sometimes overblown in order to discourage guys from barebacking? The fact is that many gay men do live successful and happy lives with HIV. And yes, many don’t. However we only seem to hear about those who don’t.

Fucking without a condom can be more intimate, more spontaneous and deliver more intense sensations and more powerful orgasms – but when was the last time you read that in the gay press? The enhanced pleasure that comes from barebacking is worth the risks that come with it for many gay guys. 

Paved by Good Intentions

The danger is that by giving a very one sided safe-sex message to the male gay community, that message becomes disrespected because it is not seen as being impartial. Good intentions could be driving guys to bareback sex.

Wouldn’t it be far better to openly portray the pros and cons of anal sex both with and without condoms, and to honestly report the consequences of living with HIV, and the statistical chances of catching it?

Also, giving advice to guys who do choose to bareback about how to reduce the risks of contracting HIV is invaluable – for instance douching before getting fucked can increase the chances of catching HIV for the passive partner, as can using poppers. GMFA has advice about reducing risk if you enjoy bareback sex.

Bareback Resistance is Futile

For some guys, bareback resistance is futile - the temptation can simply be too hard to resist.

There may be some evidence that gay men in particular find it harder to resist temptation – for instance gay guys are 45-100% more likely to smoke. If some gay men simply can’t resist the tempation to fuck without a condom, then it could be argued that they never had the ‘choice’ to begin with.

Is the Bareback Choice Ours to Make?

The average cost of HIV treatment to the NHS is £16,000* a year. In addition there may be benefit and housing costs of up to £20,000 a year if the guy concerned can’t work. Over the course of an HIV+ lifetime the costs to the British taxpayer could exceed £1 million.

Assuming that we won’t pay for the treatment ourselves, is it reasonable of us to make a choice to have bareback sex in the knowledge that our fellow citizens will be paying for our treatment and maintenance if we become infected with HIV?

Yes it is. Many guys choose to have bareback sex in the heat of the moment when their decision making process is compromised. Besides, countless illnesses are a result of personal choices made by the patient – choices like smoking, over-eating, alcohol or drugs – and we’re happy to treat and pay for these. The eligibility and funding of HIV treatment should be no different. We’re humans and we’re fallible, and it would be inhuman to deny treatment.

Respect Brings Respect

Let’s present all the pros and cons of barebacking honestly and openly. By doing so we enable gay men to make informed decisions about the risks and consequences of barebacking. Who knows it may result in greater respect for the safe-sex arguments and even increase condom use. Whatever happens, it should result in a better quality of life, and sex life, for gay men overall.

by David Abrehart

* Source Aidsmap

(c) Copyright 2009.  All Rights Reserved.

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