by Dominic Davies
Often premature ejaculation can be a problem for gay men, but it is also appropriate to address the opposite end of this issue, having trouble in reaching orgasm/ejaculation.
This situation isn’t as easy to deal with in my experience as a sex therapist. Some guys just have a ‘long fuse’ and so need plenty of time before they can cum. This is fine when they are on their own or if their partner waits for them to cum first - as it can mean wonderfully long and intense sex sessions. The problem comes when their partner comes easily and they don’t! Some men cum easily enough on their own, but find it difficult when with a partner. In sex therapy we’d be trying to explore what’s happening in those situations.
In general though, my advice that this is often about helping the guy relax and removing some of the pressure to cum and helping him focus on all the sensations needed to get him off. If you know something that will help you get off (like a finger up your bum, or someone playing with your nipples), then ask for it! Using lube can also help help with the level of sensation. We’re basically trying to raise the level of arousal to such a pitch you blow your wad. Whatever you need to help is all fair game!
Sometimes when a guy is on either prescription on recreational drugs (I’m thinking some of the anti-depressants and Ecstasy/MDMA in particular), these can make it almost impossible to come and so don’t force it - you may do yourself some serious damage.
© Dominic Davies - Pink Therapy™
