by Dominic Davies
When someone tells me they’re cumming to quickly, I guess the first question I would consider is how quick is too quick? For some people this might mean 30 seconds and for others 30 minutes! The answer most sex therapists would adopt is if you feel you have no control over your orgasm and you’re cumming before you’re ready.
We can all learn better ejaculatory control. Slowing down or stopping when you feel close, taking slow deep breaths and distracting yourself with unrelated thoughts are all useful techniques (think dead puppies).
Premature ejaculation is more common in guys who are not so in touch with their body sensations and so they don’t notice the signs that their orgasm is about to happen until it’s too late. This is where the ‘stop-start’ technique can be useful. Masturbating until you feel close and then squeezing hard just under the head of the cock and holding the squeeze until the sensation goes away. Taking some slow deep breaths can help this too. Then continue masturbating and when you get close again, stop and squeeze. After doing this several times, you start to learn the sensations that your body is going through and can develop more control over the orgasm. You’ll probably also have a much more intense orgasm!
It can also be helpful to think about the situation that the premature ejaculation is happening in. Does it happen only with a new partner, but not on one’s own or with a regular partner. Sometimes people get nervous or overexcited with a new partner. Is it happening during some sexual activities but not others. Being fucked can sometimes cause a guy to cum too quickly because the prostate is getting hit. Some guys cum too quickly through oral sex and others can’t come at all that way. Some guys who perhaps lacked privacy at home became used to quick wanks and so when they’re with a partner have been conditioned to cum quickly.
The key points are to slow it down, to learn the sensations and to become more comfortable with your body. If you try all this and it’s still a problem than it’s worth seeing a sex therapist for some professional advice.
© Dominic Davies - Pink Therapy™
