Gay Relationships Between Smokers and Non-Smokers
Are gay relationships between smokers and non-smokers doomed?
Are gay relationships between smokers and non-smokers doomed? With gay guys between 44% and 100% more likely to smoke than straight people, the issue is right up there for gay guys.
If the non-smoker’s anti-smoking attitude is dead set against, then there isn’t much point in taking it any further - it isn’t going to work unless the smoker gives up, and starting a gay relationship on that premise is going to be a disaster.
However, are gay non-smokers like this being reasonable to smokers, or even themselves by refusing to date smokers?
Who Knows How Long It Will Last
Some gay relationships are short-lived. Sometimes even very short relationships can have a profound effect on us, and we may not be together long enough for smoking to become an issue. Is it worth denying yourself what could be a meaningful, exciting and loving time of your life?
Limiting Your Dating Options
With gay men up to twice as likely to smoke, there are a lot of gay smokers out there. Also, younger gay men are even more likely to smoke, so non-smokers looking for a younger partner have the odds stacked against them even more. Think carefully before you limit your dating options so drastically.
Kissing, Clothes and Waiting
Some of the downsides of everyday smoking include the taste of cigarettes when kissing, the stale smell smoke on clothes and having to separate in public places while one guy leaves for a cigarette. Some guys can cope with this, other’s can’t.
Will You Be Tempted to Start Smoking?
For ex-smokers who may lapse or guys who might you be tempted to smoke for the first time, dating a smoker may be a bad decision. Guys who smoke may hang out with other smokers, and before you know it you may be drawn into a social circle where everyone smokes. Being surrounded by guys who smoke may make it more likely you’ll be tempted to smoke yourself, or be exposed to passive smoking.
Rules - What’s Fair and What’s Not
Smoking and non-smoking boyfriends need to set some reasonable rules. If you share a home, then it is fair enough that the smoker smokes outside (in a covered area!), or perhaps has one room in the house where he can smoke. If you share a car, then again it is a good idea if it is 100% no smoking. If you have your own cars however, then the smoker should be able to smoke in his.
You’ll need to work out a fair and reasonable compromise that respects his right to smoke, without exposing you to passive smoking or the unpleasant effects of smoking. Like most gay relationships, it is going to involve compromise, and being sensitive to each others’ needs.
The main thing is that if you’re a non-smoker, you don’t zealously refuse to date all smokers without careful consideration – you’re cutting out a huge swathe of hot guys, and it may not be the right decision for you…or for that beautiful man you haven’t met yet who happens to enjoy a cigarette!
by David Abrehart
(c) Copyright 2009. All rights reserved.
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