Speedos Banned, Bikinis Allowed - are Alton Towers Sexist?
Shock! Horror! Alton Towers has banned speedos in all its public areas and pools. Hot dads and fit lads can no longer wear regular swimwear - instead they have to wear those great big baggy things that do NOTHING for a man! Incredibly, the theme park has felt it necessary to stop guys wearing skin-tight swimwear in order to preserve a ‘decent family environment’!
This is despite family-friendly public pools and beaches throughout the UK having no such ban in place! We asked Alton Towers if any specific incident had caused them to implement such a drastic policy. Had guys been walking around with 9 inch boners all weekend? Had a thousand male swimming trunks been disappearing up buttcracks on their douche-like waterslides?
But no, nothing. Instead Alton Towers reasoning was simply
“…the (speedo) style is not deemed public or family friendly, and therefore we are requesting that male swimmers wear more appropriate styles such as boardshorts.”
Alton Towers spokesman Tom told the Mothership Blog that it was the skin-tight nature of the speedo-style swimwear that was inappropriate for a family resort. Oh please!
Incidentally, this is quite the opposite to public swimming facilities in France. In all public pools in France you must wear speedo-style swimwear for hygiene reasons. I myself have been hauled out of a public pool in Avignon by the (hot) lifeguard for wearing loose fitting shorts and marched to a room to choose a pair of tight speedos to wear instead! (No, he didn’t stick around to help me into them!)
In France they say that when you wear speedos to swim you are likely to put them on clean just for this purpose, whereas if you wear loose swim shorts you could have been wearing them all day, and they may be contaminated with bacteria including e coli. They do have a point.
We put this to Alton Towers, but Tom said they weren’t aware of any research that showed baggy swimwear was any less hygienic - however, it stands to reason, doesn’t it?
And what about the girls? We asked Alton Towers if the girls would be required to wear baggy swimwear too, because bikinis can be equally revealing! However, the girls get to keep their skimpy bikinis - it is just the boys who are left with the ugly baggy shorts! Isn’t that a little sexist? Damn right it is!
Mothership says: Come on Alton Towers! This rule is ridiculous. It is sexist, prudish and unhygienic. Let the boys have their skin-tight swimwear back, just like everywhere else in the country…for decades!
By David Abrehart
(c) Copyright 2009. All rights reserved.
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