Speedos Banned, Bikinis Allowed - are Alton Towers Sexist?
Skin-tight swimwear like these N2N Renegade trunks are banned at Alton Towers!
Shock! Horror! Alton Towers has banned speedos in all its public areas and pools. Hot dads and fit lads can no longer wear regular swimwear - instead they have to wear those great big baggy things that do NOTHING for a man! Incredibly, the theme park has felt it necessary to stop guys wearing skin-tight swimwear in order to preserve a ‘decent family environment’!
This is despite family-friendly public pools and beaches throughout the UK having no such ban in place! We asked Alton Towers if any specific incident had caused them to implement such a drastic policy. Had guys been walking around with 9 inch boners all weekend? Had a thousand male swimming trunks been disappearing up buttcracks on their douche-like waterslides?
But no, nothing. Instead Alton Towers reasoning was simply
“…the (speedo) style is not deemed public or family friendly, and therefore we are requesting that male swimmers wear more appropriate styles such as boardshorts.”
Alton Towers spokesman Tom told the Mothership Blog that it was the skin-tight nature of the speedo-style swimwear that was inappropriate for a family resort. Oh please!
No more speedos means dirtier pools
Incidentally, this is quite the opposite to public swimming facilities in France. In all public pools in France you must wear speedo-style swimwear for hygiene reasons. I myself have been hauled out of a public pool in Avignon by the (hot) lifeguard for wearing loose fitting shorts and marched to a room to choose a pair of tight speedos to wear instead! (No, he didn’t stick around to help me into them!)
In France they say that when you wear speedos to swim you are likely to put them on clean just for this purpose, whereas if you wear loose swim shorts you could have been wearing them all day, and they may be contaminated with bacteria including e coli. They do have a point.
Girls can wear skin-tight swimwear, but boys can't. Sounds like a bum deal.
We put this to Alton Towers, but Tom said they weren’t aware of any research that showed baggy swimwear was any less hygienic - however, it stands to reason, doesn’t it?
And what about the girls? We asked Alton Towers if the girls would be required to wear baggy swimwear too, because bikinis can be equally revealing! However, the girls get to keep their skimpy bikinis - it is just the boys who are left with the ugly baggy shorts! Isn’t that a little sexist? Damn right it is!
Mothership says: Come on Alton Towers! This rule is ridiculous. It is sexist, prudish and unhygienic. Let the boys have their skin-tight swimwear back, just like everywhere else in the country…for decades!
By David Abrehart
(c) Copyright 2009. All rights reserved.
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What do you think? Have your say below:
June 21st, 2012 at 1:08 pm
Doodie, it was hardly a fail and I doubt they gave a fuck.
October 23rd, 2011 at 3:02 pm
The ban has been lifted. I went to Alton Towers last week I am 24 and I was a bit nervous of wearing my nike (speedo like) trunks but I seen around 8 men and boys in them so dont worry…. speedos are back!!!!!!
September 14th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
How about this for a super speedo fail?
We caught these 2 guys on the beach taking pictures of each other\’s speedo package for like 45 minutes. Oddest thing I\’ve ever seen. And we have it on video……HAHA
http://doodiepants.com/2009/09/11/europeans-love-speedos-banana-hammock-fail/
August 23rd, 2009 at 5:01 pm
SO, if Alton keeps its ban on guys Speedos, but not on ladies bikini bottoms, then I’ll report them to the Racial Discrimibnation Board.
August 20th, 2009 at 7:40 am
Thanks Justin and Patrick
I agree the rule is totally ridiculous. Men have been swimming in tight trunks for decades in family-friendly environments.
And why only the guys - bikinis and other girl’s swimwear can be just as revealing.
I don’t know why but I felt quite angry when I heard about this - it is only a small thing but there is something about the unjustness and prudishness of it that gets under my skin.
grrrrr!
August 19th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
This sounds like more of the creaping Moslem influence. What an insult to our freedom as men, to not be able to wear what we want. It suggests that all men are perverts.
Just exactly who’s sensitivity are we protectecting?
Sadly, this is another bit-by-bit restriction of our freedom and it will go unchallenged. The next step will be that public pools adopt the same stance, for the same dubious reasons. It stinks. Wake up you apathetic morons and say out loud. “How dare you suggest I’m sick because it want to wear Speedos”
August 18th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
Well, I have heard of some ridiculous rules, but this surely has to be the king of them all. I have worn ’speedo’ type swimwear since before the name Speedo was invented and no one would stop me now, SO UP YOURS ALTON TOWERS, you can certainly count me out for visiting.
August 10th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
I love Alton Towers. You should not say bad things about it! You are a bad man!
Hehehehe.
I like to lie on the poolside at Alton Towers in my tight Gucci bikini.
I hope they don’t try to ban my cameltoe! Hehehehe.